It’s still the weekend or to be more precise, Sunday night, a time when reflective thoughts often come. I realized that in the past few months and weeks, several people whom I knew and two of our pet kittens (our rescues) bid goodbye to this world.

One was the artist Robert Alejandro; Two were my former co-teachers in Far Eastern University (FEU), Ma’am Jing and Ma’am Lily who both succumbed from illness; one was my fellow Toastmaster in the UP Manila Toastmasters Club (UPMTMC) and fellow alumni in UP, Ma’am Grace; one was the father of my colleague in UPMTMC; and just last week, the uncle of my colleague in the DFA.

In the last instance, my colleague learned about it in the early afternoon and thus, she had to leave soon. I expressed my condolences and in trying to comfort her, mentioned something about death as being inevitable, and that it may cause pain to those left behind, but it frees the person from pain. Not the best speech, awkward in fact, but it was not easy to put comforting thoughts into words.

I recall that in my early years of teaching, one year of which I spent in Albay, there was a certain healer who (based on some conversations I overhear in the faculty room because they were spoken openly about) was famous in the area and had some clients in school who vouched for her extraordinary skills in detecting and preventing illnesses in a non-traditional manner, specifically by drinking the boiled concoction of herbs, roots, and twigs that she prescribed . I didn’t have the slightest plan of visiting her then, but I was intrigued, especially one day, when one young teacher, 20 or 21, cried her heart out while inside the faculty room, expressing her anxiety and fear about her body’s condition.

Pls. note that this teacher, in my observation is young, healthy, and pretty, and did not appear to be afflicted with any disease. Yet, there she was, crying buckets of tears. That instance made me reflect at that particular moment. Why was she distraught? What will I feel if I knew I only had a limited time to live? What will I do?

Looking inwardly, the answer surprised me. I realized that I wouldn’t cry that much, but after recovering from the initial shock for several minutes or maybe an hour, I’ll start to plan–whom I will send “Thank You” messages, the work records that I need to turn over, my stuff that I want to give away to certain people, the important documents that I need to compile, the preparations, etc. It’s not a very pleasant emotional exercise, but that time, at the age of 22, I realized that the inevitable is not something I fear.

But a few years after that, emotions have a way of surprising me. I thought I’d be nonchalant about the issue but I felt anger and annoyance towards someone who messaged me casually during one weekend via my FB Messenger account. She said that I was referred by a certain person; then asked if my senior parents were living with me and if I would be interested to get the St. Peter Life Plan. For good measure, she added “He!he!” at the end of her message. I was so pissed off that I immediately deleted and blocked the person, without replying.

I thought “Who are you? A stranger and you have the gall to joke about my parents’ death?” I also hated my co-teacher who “referred” me, for a day. But then, I eventually calmed down and came to my senses, justifying that the person was probably just doing her job and wanted to scout for a client.

And before I forget, we lost our two kittens to illness. One was Nat-nat, a previously healthy cat who just suddenly lost her liveliness and her appetite, and despite a vet visit, he passed away two days after Christmas 2024. Shortly after, a wee orange kitten found his way to our house. We heard little cries during the night and looked for him in the neighborhood the next day. We named hm Pretzels. He was sickly but after a few weeks got better and plump. Except that he became weak two weeks ago and after 2 vet visits and while waiting for his vaccine for FIP to be delivered, he died at around 3AM on Thursday last week, after a series of epileptic seizures.

The demise of people we know is heartbreaking. The death of pets we love is saddening. It appears that the only thing left in this situation is to accept and move on.