One of the things that I’m afraid might happen one day is that I will lose interest in things that give me meaning or at least evoke some sense of happiness in me.

That wouldn’t feel good, right?

My society-perceived success (good education, stable job), my altruistic vision, my plans for the future (other than ensuring a good life for my mom, daughter and granddaughter), my writing, my at least twice a year meeting with friends.

Or perhaps I’m just down. My health isn’t too good lately. Nothing serious, nothing fatal, but just this feeling of physical weakness and a bit of cough and colds and body ache from some virus I managed to catch somewhere. Plus, some things planned that should have been finished, but still incomplete until now.

This isn’t a new feeling. I have felt it before.

Years ago, I joined a speaking competition that was so delayed (from lunch time until 4pm), my initial enthusiasm turned to annoyance (and hunger) and I just wanted to go and leave. But I stayed and competed; otherwise, it would have been a wasted opportunity.

When a speaking engagement was rescheduled three times, that I wasn’t interested in it anymore (I was still able to deliver it well, I think; but felt sorry to my audience for the initial internal pushback). Imagine a parabola. That was how my enthusiasm level was, but on the day itself, I managed to do it.

When a project started out beautifully but ended up draining me mentally and emotionally due to unnecessary complications. When a timeline isn’t followed and promised deliverables aren’t provided.

When you realize that life is not fair.

But I finish what I start. I persevere. So yes, things almost always work out in the end.

Apologies to my readers. I am now not my usual inspired, happy self.

But I will bounce back.

P.S. I think I will feel better if some corrupt officials will be convicted. And if the stolen funds, collected from honest and hardworking taxpayers, will be returned to the country’s coffer, and be used to improve healthcare, education, housing, agriculture and food security, national security, and support MSMEs.