Many years ago, an FX driver, whose vehicle I had the fortune or misfortune of riding to Morayta was very zealous about his religion. For about an hour, he kept saying it’s the truest religion and citing information, both theologically and historically. What made that instance interesting was the driver was not originally Filipino, but he has stayed in the country for a long time and was fluent in Tagalog. I was a front passenger, a captive listener. He wasn’t rude; he was knowledgeable and logical in fact. But I have a different religion. Just when I was about to get off, I said, “Thanks for sharing your views, Kuya. But it’s a matter of perspective.”
Perspective.
I’ve used this concept when I try to understand things, people, situations.
In one instance, I had an early morning class in FEU so I took a cab (way before Grab, In-Drive, Joyride became available in the Philippines). I wanted to rest on the way to work because I only had a few hours of sleep. But the cab driver, a sad-looking man, told him about his woes — that his wife is cheating on him, that he has health concerns, that’s his eyes are getting worse, and that he couldn’t see his child as often as he’d like. I listened, responded every now and then, but felt more tired when I got off.
I couldn’t blame him. He probably had many things on his mind and he saw me, a sympathetic human being, to tell his life story too. On the one hand, I could have requested a quiet ride, but there was a person needing help and I was given the opportunity that day to have eased someone’s burden.
The second takes me far back to my elementary days. I was an “achiever,” if that word meant receiving academic honors at the end of every school year, and winning some contests here and there too. But there were two (2) teachers who thought differently. Behind their motherly facade, they were unkind, and these behaviors were things I only better understood years after. One told me, while no one was around, and in a voice soft enough so only I could hear “kaya dapat di ikaw ang valedictorian eh” without any provocation. The other requested me to drop by her place after class, then asked me “Kung hindi ikaw ang valedictorian, ‘di ka naman iiyak?” I just shrugged my shoulder but I recalled that I punched the wall of my room when I got home.
It’s funny, they seemed to be more concerned about that “valedictorian” title, when in fact, I didn’t covet it. Like the other recognitions, I got them because I loved to learn, I think, without pressure from my parents or anyone.
In fact, thinking about it, it’s probably because they wanted someone more popular, richer, more sociable; someone who display a sweeter or closer connection to authorities. Someone more expressive of gratitude, which I wasn’t not because I wasn’t thankful but because then, it wasn’t my nature to show outward signs of affection. It could be that that teacher (God bless her soul, for she already passed a long time ago.) was in the same area but I didn’t notice her or acknowledge her on time, being lost in my own thoughts, and thought that I ignored or disregarded her.
This is not to say that I harbor any ill feelings towards my classmate. No. We are okay. She’s a wonderful person. But years of being pitted against each other somehow prevented an affectionate friendly bond which I have with some elementary and high school schoolmates.
Third is quite recent. I read a message that made me sit down and stay quiet & unmoving for some time before coming to terms with it. It’s how after years of helping, someone would only remember one minor instance in which that person felt hurt.
How come? This isn’t easy to understand. So much effort, so many years of striving, collapsed in one insignificant moment. But then, I try to put myself in that person’s shoes, and despite still not understanding fully, I’m able to gain a bit of clarity.
I’ll end with my fourth point as it getting late, and I have to be up early tomorrow for work, although there are still many instances that came to mind. And this is about our pets, many of whom are rescued cats and a few dogs (the latest is Biscoff who was once a frail, dirty, abandoned puppy but is now a chubby, bossy, playful puppy).
Our rescues’ number grew significantly that has caused some discussions and slight misunderstandings within the family on finances, resources, and caring for them. Even people outside the family, who should mind their own business, even suggested just throwing them to save funds. One even had the audacity to “lecture” me on the wasted resources for the rescued pets, sitting down and showing me a calculation of what I could save annually, and telling me, in that overconfident, all-knowing way which people who think so highly of themselves do.
Well, they will be disappointed because I’m keeping our pets and providing their resources.
Why would people think that letting go of pets is a good financial move? Having pets is a lifetime commitment. They give us joy and allow us to experience being with them throughout their short lives.
There’s something about weekend evenings that one makes one reflect. Mine’s on perspective among many other things.
When someone thinks differently from you, or did something that hurt you emotionally or that seemed illogical, perhaps the answer is in perspective. That way, you can look at the situation objectively and understand the negative emotions, and detach yourself from the hurt or negativity.
Beyond Routes 